Not About Top Chef!

So, one of the things I do for fun sometimes is read show recaps over at Television without Pity, usually of shows I either have watched, or watched but then gave up on. For some reason, I'm currently working my way through the recaps of America's Next Top Model. Yesterday, for a little while, I had to stop reading because I was really irritated about body image issues.

It's season ("cycle", whatever) 3, and Toccara, who is a size 12, is doing pretty well. Until they get to the fashion designers, who of course are just aghast, aghast that this extremely fat cow who might even be, if you can imagine, a size fourteen, is trying to wear any of their clothes.

No, really. If anything, I'm understating the reported derision, and Potes is probably understating the actual depicted derision.

Now I'm sure some of you out there are the type who would think that a size 12 or 14 is really disgustingly fat. You can leave now. In fact, I'm fine with you never coming back. The rest of you are probably going, "But... isn't that like the average size of women in this country?"

Why yes. Yes, it is. And even if you buy into the hype that this country is full of nothing but fatties... if that's the case... why are designers only making clothes for extremely thin people???

It really irks me that the average size in this country is somehow considered plus size and that people design around the lower end of sizes exclusively. It irks me even more that even designers I respect can't make a garment that someone of an average size can wear.

It's kinda like the "Ordinary Woman" challenge from Project Runway 3 all over again, only with even meaner people.

I mean, look, I appreciate that there are more challenges designing for someone whose body proportions are different from what you normally work with. Obviously if you're used to working with a tall, willowy figure, doing a short, pear-like figure is going to mean making some changes. But, you know, even most of the skinny women I know are a) a lot shorter than models and b) tend to be at least a little meatier than models. And most of the women I know are larger. (The one person I do know of model-thin proportions? She has a hard time finding clothes that fit well, too. Weird, huh?)

I've seen pictures of Toccara. She's gorgeous. She does have very large breasts and slightly large thighs, but she's not what I would call "fat". I bet if she had her body fat measured, she'd be well within what's considered healthy. (I don't believe in BMI, so don't care what hers is.) I'd bet from the poses she can hold she's in better shape than most of the people watching the show, too (and I'd like to see you run up several flights of stairs).

So... all this leads me to wonder: why the hell is America's Next Top Model supposed to be so tall and skinny anyhow?

And what do we get out of it? Clothes that fit no one but a small percentage of the population. Models who are sometimes literally starving themselves to death. Ones with visible, countable ribs and vertebrae, who think that a head of lettuce is a meal, who worry about gaining two pounds... who are forcing themselves to fit a specific mold that most of them don't belong in.

And bitchy designers and media people who have managed to convince themselves that a normal, average woman is disgustingly fat... and that "fat" automatically means "not pretty".

I'd like to think that the awareness of the propensity towards eating disorders in models and those who see them as the ultimate goal of beauty is going to mean that when I get to later seasons of the show this won't come up as much. But I'm not holding my breath. Because 14 is still plus-size. Because even Tim Gunn, who I usually respect, can call a tall, skinny model "fat" because the other girls are skinniER. Because we still use the ridiculous BMI method of determining acceptable sizes, instead of the much saner body fat percentage that takes into account things like bone structure and muscle density. And because people are hypocrites, because a lot of the people who judge these women fat aren't exactly models themselves. I'd like to think this will change, but mostly, I've given up.
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Short Bus

Oh, Valerie, Valerie, Valerie. I was feeling bad about your departure until Blogging Top Chef linked me to your really hastily-printed interview here.

First off, it doesn't matter whether or not Antonia tasted your food at that point. I don't mind you being a little upset about it, but a) she had heard the judge's comments about the food by then and, b) between the two mistakes, I'd have to agree yours was worse (and Stephanie put out a second dish that was really good, to boot), c) she was really put on the spot and didn't look like she liked being forced to make a choice, so d) how are those grapes?

Second of all, blaming the blini idea on Antonia, too? Because, you know, if someone says "I have this really great recipe for sheep's toenails", you obviously run and do it? I'm not even a professional chef, and I know that if you cook blinis ahead of time, you might as well be serving shoe leather. Why didn't you just say something at the time? Edit for clarification: In short, whether the original ideas for blinis were her idea or not, she still agreed with it and did it. If Antonia had been the one to do it, she'd be the one I said made a lousy decision. Throwing out an idea in brainstorming that's bad is a different matter.

Third—and this applies to everyone, not just Valerie—can we please have a moratorium on the phrase "threw someone [direction] a bus"? I'm really done with it. It's as stale as those blinis must've been. (At least she didn't say someone threw her over a bus, I guess. But still.)

Now it happens I agree that Nikki should've been the one to go, even though I've said I do get the judges' reasoning. But really, way to wash out any sympathy I had for you.

(And seriously, is it just me, or did that interview come out really quickly? How long have they been sitting on it?)
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"Molecular Gastronomy" and BUHLEENEE

Just so you know, Top Chef's planned reruns of episode 2 today are right smack in my prime time with my guy, so I don't know if I'll get a chance to fill in my notes today. Friday rerun is a little earlier so it's more likely I'll get to it then, so hopefully expanded recaps will be up over the weekend.

Anyhow, just a few morning comments after reading blogs.

I think Ted Allen and I were dipping into the same collective unconsciousness... he not only mentions the blini pronunciation (and spells the mispronunciation similarly) but also he doesn't like the term "Molecular Gastronomy" either and like me, isn't sure why people were expecting miracles from farmer's market meat.

Anyhow, I've been meaning to write about my problem with That Term, so here we go: while the chefs who use the techniques are definitely into the science behind why certain foods combine well and how the foods react to different ways of preparing them, they aren't generally toting around electron microscopes, as far as I know, unless a miniaturized one of those is being sold next to immersion blenders and I didn't notice. Unless they're actually into the details of how the molecules are reacting to their changes, they're not really doing molecular anything at the time they're cooking... and besides which, knowing the results of scientific experimentation and incorporating them is not the same as being the scientist. Either that, or I am a physicist every time I freeze something. Take your pick.

I like the term "food science". I suppose the problem with using it officially is that "food science" has a specific, broad meaning, but on the other hand, it's a meaning that includes all of the little bits that go into the big MG term. (Technically MG is a subset of "food science", but the people who use the term are doing some of the related fields, too, albeit perhaps on another level than organized science.) But in context, it gets the point across, and some people do use it, and I prefer the term, myself.

In fact, I actually like the concept. The idea of, for instance, taking a list of food esters and matching things up based on that list that you might otherwise never think to put together is just neat. I'm sure the results aren't always the best, but that's true no matter how you select ingredients. And I think the little physical property tricks you can pull by the right combinations of ingredients and tools could probably result in some really interesting textures... and as someone who is particularly picky about food texture as well as taste (there are several foods where I like the taste but hate the texture and therefore avoid them) I'm all for finding new ways to present textures. Maybe someone can make me some artichokes I like.

Last on the anti-use-of-this-term, there's a psychological factor. People who like throwing around the term Molecular Gastronomy every 5 minutes seem to be really full of themselves... and people who hear the term reject the concept out of hand because of it. At this point it's hard not to wince when you hear the term... which is probably why Richard is so self-conscious about it and why we didn't hear it from Andrew at all even while he was using those techniques.

And this could be a whole post by itself, but while I've got the editor open, I also wanted to note a few more things:

• Ted Allen and I are joined by Rocco in the detest of the three-syllable "blini" pronunciation.


• Harold makes a really funny little "not mentioning any names" comment regarding food science, Richard, and Other People.


• Tom and Gail both were suitably harsh on Nikki's decisions but go into a bit more detail about why Valerie's were worse, and I'm feeling a little less annoyed after reading them.

I thought I had something more than that to say but it's escaped me, so I'll leave you to enjoy your morning coffee in peace.

Edit: No, I do have one more thing to say. There's a bio & interview of Wylie Dufresne up that goes well with my ranting about MG, specifically this bit here:

Bravotv.com: More generally: What is molecular gastronomy?
At this point, it means many things to many different people. The term was coined by a scientist to explain the relationship between cooking and science, but it has gone on to encompass more.

Bravotv.com: What do you think most people's misperception about it is?
I think the term is unfortunate in that it has a clinical aspect and makes people think of lab coats. It sounds as if the human element has been removed from the cooking process. I like to think of it as a term that just refers to the information that enables a chef to achieve certain goals, a scientific means to an end that still requires all of the human side of cooking. Ideally, it assists in making us better cooks.

Bravotv.com: Do you think Top Chef has made the concept of molecular gastronomy more well-known and accessible? Are you surprised with how Top Chef fans have embraced it after seeing chefs, especially Marcel, use it?
For better or for worse, Marcel has increased awareness. But chefs are now distancing themselves from the term because of the connotations it conveys.

Okay. Now you may have your morning coffee.
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Blini is a Two Syllable Word

Top Chef Season 4, Episode 2: "Zoo Food"

Hey, non-existent readers. I wanted to do something different this week: get something up quickly with initial thoughts and a quick summary for the episode, and then do more detailed recaps after I get to watch a rerun or two to fill in details. It probably goes without saying that behind the cut, there be spoilers.


The Quickfire was kinda cool: buy food at the farmer's market and make something good, using only five ingredients total, not counting salt, pepper, sugar, or oil. That's tricky, yes, since it means it does count other herbs and spices, but that's what makes it a challenge, right?

Guest judge was "Molecular Gastronomist" (still don't like that term) Wylie Dufresne, who is basically a big geek with a lot of restaurant and food science cred. From his judging, seems like he's a nice guy.

Obviously Richard was psyched over this, so it's a shame he ends up in the bottom for a dish that's too oily and just not well put together enough. From the comments it almost sounds like Chef Wylie expected more out of him than the others and so was holding him up to slightly higher standards.

Two chefs mention something that happened with their ingredients: Mark misplaced some lettuce, and Spike didn't get what he expected, though since I saw the product and the judges ate it and didn't die, I'm guessing this is more "American lemons suck" than it is "this food is lousy". Me, I tend to not buy meat at farmer's markets so I don't know.

In any case, in Spike's case, his mentioning it works against him, as he ends up in the bottom with a comment on how he could've worked around the problem. In Mark's case, it seems to work for him, as Chef Wylie notes that he managed to work around his missing ingredient and put together a really good combination of flavors.

The dreaded Knife Block arrives, and the first person to draw is Manuel, who seems very bemused by the fact that his knife reads "Vulture". As the chefs keep drawing, we learn that they're assembling teams (bleah, team challenge already?) and the other animals mentioned are penguin, bear, and gorilla. I already knew from previews they were doing something at the Lincoln Park Zoo at some point so it's no surprise that that's where the food is going to be served: a catered party for 200 at the zoo, making dishes designed around their animals' diets.

This strikes me as really cool, and I comment the Penguin team is in an interesting position as the only team that'll be focussed on fish... it's a chance for them to really stand out. After thinking about it I realize that bears eat fish, too, though, so that might not really be as stand-out as I was thinking. Anyhow, either way, the challenge is a pretty interesting idea. Our cheftestants get a list detailing the diets of the animals and work out their dishes.

Team Gorilla is Valerie, Stephanie, and Antonia. Team Vulture is Manuel, Mark, and... Zoi? Team Penguin is Andrew, Jen, and... Lisa? Team Bear is Dale, Spike, and Nikki. (Please do not shoot me if I got something wrong there, I'll correct it in the expanded version if I did.) Edit: As in, for instance, the fact that there were 5 teams, and wow, did Bravo totally not focus on the fifth one or did I miss something? I guess Team Lion was Richard, Erik, and Ryan? Maybe? Or was Ryan somewhere good? Ugh. I need a TiVo. Or to shut up on details until I'm sure.

So you know how the other day I said Spike was starting to remind me of Johnny Fairplay? Forget "starting to". Spike is on some other reality show, trying to kick people off the island, while the rest of the chefs are just trying to cook. He's a dick. I'm not even going to talk about him anymore. He's dead to me.

Anyhow, so, they plan their menus, they shop, they cook. Somewhere along the line, Valerie mentions that she's cooking buhlee knees, which after 4 or 5 repeats I finally realize is "blinis", and I think, that's not a great thing to cook in advance. There's also some issue with Stephanie's something chip not crisping.

Meanwhile, Nikki's mushrooms have come out looking extremely unappetizing, and she's basically done exactly what I did the first couple times I made stuffed mushrooms and not given them enough moisture to cook, so that they shrivel up. There's some dissension on the team about serving them or trying to salvage them.

The other two teams seem to be doing a lot better, and it turns out Andrew actually is also a fan of Wylie Dufresne, which I would have in no way expected. Also, either they edit him better or he swears less, and either way, he's acting a lot better this episode.

In no way did I guess from this extremely light foreshadowing the outcome. It was not at all upheld by the various commentary we got during serving.

I am, of course, lying. As has been obvious since mid-cookery, Teams Vulture and Penguin go to the winning Judges' table, where there is very, very little commentary, but what little there is makes it obvious Andrew will be the winner. And, well, he is.

Andrew sends back the losers. A lot of people say "buhleenee" and make me twitch regularly. Do these people also say "buhluhd"? You know, like that stuff in your veins?

Anyhow, at this point, the two people on Team Bear are arguing over whose fault it is the mushrooms suck. On the one hand, Nikki made them and they probably shouldn't have been served. On the other hand, Dale was the one who cheesed them and didn't taste them. On the other hand, Nikki didn't taste them either, and she was the one who insisted on serving them to the judges even after they were crappy and cold. I personally would've sent her home, but what I personally want and what happens are rarely the same thing.

(I hear some buzzing sounds of evil and remember that Team Bear has a third member, who tries to simultaneously backstab both his teammates but who the judges rightly include in the "no tasting" accusation later after the teams are dismissed.)

Over on Team Gorilla, Stephanie completely admits that mixing the crab so early was a mistake and her fault. Valerie completely admits that making blinis early was a bad idea. Unfortunately for Antonia, the judges completely put her on the spot and make her say which dish was better, and she picks Stephanie. The judges also let us know that Valerie's blinis didn't taste so great either.

After some more discussion, which increasingly is about mushrooms, of course they send someone home for them, right? That's why it's...

Valerie. Damn. Well, that's a shame. I mean, yeah, she made a really bad choice and apparently they didn't like her ingredients to begin with, but still, I think that Nikki insisting on serving cold, yucky mushrooms to the judges, which they knew because she made a point of telling them, was a worse choice. I admit I'm not a Nikki fan anyhow but seriously, if you know the stuff looks bad, aren't even sure what it tastes like at this point, and you know it's cold enough that you don't want to serve them to the general public, why give them to the judges?

So, that's it for now. I'll put up expanded recaps in a few days.
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Episode 2 Recapreview, Now With Credits

For anyone who hasn't seen it elsewhere:



It's not much of a preview, considering two thirds of it is composed of recap, credits, and establishing shots. On the other hand, it gave me a chance to realize something. Spike? Yeah, um... anyone else thinks he borrowed his facial expressions from Johnny Fairplay of Survivor infamy? I mean, it's one of the few things I remember about my limited experience with the show. Really makes me wonder if he's going to turn out to be as much of an ass.

On the plus side, we got to see Stephanie's super-pleased reaction to winning again, which was cute. Also, I got to take a really good look at the credits. Seems like they were trying to get everyone to smile or laugh for them, and in some cases succeeded better than others. Notably, Spike looks smug, Nimma looks nervous, Andrew looks far more relaxed than he's seemed on the show, Dale does the Stupidest Dance Ever, and Erik does this great metal pose to finish it off.

Also, you know, Mark is really kinda cute. In his bio interview I didn't really notice but in the opening credits and the show itself he looks a lot better. Between that and the Enzed accent, I'm guessing there's a good chance he's this season's man-hunk. Don't know about the girls, though. Really, most of them are pretty attractive, but the standards of female beauty in this country and my tastes don't generally agree. Maybe Antonia? Dunno.

Anyhow, as to the preview itself, all minute-fifteen of it, it doesn't tell us much. Unless you care about Stephanie and Valerie's exercise routines or the fact that Zoi and Jen apparently have the same shoes in different sizes, it really doesn't tell us anything at all. I'm guessing it's just the first 3 minutes of the next show. Yawn.

Bravo seems to like to do this, to either give us a preview that is completely yawn-worthy, or one with stuff in it we'll never see. Occasionally they spoiler something instead (or think they're cleverly not spoilering it but do anyhow), but they really need to learn how to put together better previews IMO.
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Addenda, Corrigenda, Clarification, Et Cetera

I suppose I could've gone back and edited the original posts, but I've always wanted to use 'corrigenda' in a blog post title.


First, mea culpa, please shoot me, whatever: It's MASCARPONE, not that "marscapone" whatsis I've been confused into typing. I really did used to know this, but I've seen the incorrect way so many times that I lost my mind a little.

Secondly, it occurs to me that technically, typing crème fraîche without the accents isn't "correct", but since I keep my notes in a regular text file, it's more a matter of "all the letters in the right order". As distinctly opposed to "pepeprjack" or "avacoda", the latter of which sounds like a musical term and not food. (My best typo, however, was probably turning Valerie's name into Lavier.)

Thirdly, I called out Nimma as the person who got the "dry" comments about her pizza, but then I read TWoP's recap and they mention Nikki. I swear my notes say Nimma and that I was convinced it's who they said, but TWoP's generally pretty reliable, so now I'm not sure. Anyone with a TiVo or something wanna clear this up for me?

Fourthly, it's TiVo, as I have it there, not Tivo, as I have it elsewhere. But really, who cares, because what I actually meant was DVR, though likely if I had a DVR it'd be TiVo.

Fifthly, someone please smack me until I pick a style regarding the term "home-town", or "hometown". I think this applies to a few other terms, too.

Any other errors, I don't wanna know about.

PS: Was the original showing of Episode 1 longer than the usual hour? TWoP's recap seemed to include things I swear I didn't see.
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TC Season 4 Official Blogs review

So one of the fun parts of Top Chef is reading the official blogs for more information and further opinions. For this first episode, I wanted to give my impressions of them, complete with letter grades. I probably won't do this for later episodes, though I imagine from time to time I'll have something to say in response to one of them.

Tom Colicchio (C)

Tom, Tom, Tom. Those 'wet beef' sandwiches, those are called "Italian beef". Yes, yes, the proper way to eat them is 'hot and wet' (bread dipped in the jus with hot giardiniera) or 'sweet and wet' (with sweet peppers or mild giardiniera), but... some people do eat them dry, after all. Those heathens.

Anyhow. I'm glad to see Tom appreciates Chicago on a culinary level, though I do wince a bit at his mentioning Lettuce Entertain You. Don't get me wrong, LEY has opened some good restaurants... but they've also opened some not so good ones, by which I mean "ick", and amongst my friends, at least, we're always wary of a new enterprise by them.

And yes, Chicago's music scene is terrific.

I do wish he'd chosen to talk about the first episode, but maybe that's coming later?

Padma Lakshmi (No Grade)

Padma apparently decided video blogs are in. I decided I'd watched too much video lately so nothing on hers this time.

Gail Simmons (B+)

Gail knows what an Italian beef is! Yay, Gail!

I was theorizing (though it didn't make it into the episode writeup) that maybe this season would take the theme of "getting the basics right" and run with it, and a couple things Gail says makes me wonder even more. Of course, she could just be making the same sort of point Tom was in the episode about needing to know the basics as a foundation for the variants, but one could hope.

Gail drops an interesting tidbit: Richard bought mayonnaise, but still took time to teach Andrew how to make it, and offered to share his store-bought. I think I'm still liking Richard, how about y'all?

Ted Allen (A+)

Ted, I'm so with you. The fauxhawk is over, and marmite on pizza is foul.

Ted's rundown of the various approaches to the pizza-making is so good, I want to quote it in its entirity:

It was interesting how differently the chefs approached this deep-dish challenge. I had to suppress a gag reflex when The Dude From That 70s Show, aka. Mark, announced he was making a pizza with Marmite (!?!), an inexplicable favorite in New Zealand. (Marmite, if you’ve never had the pleasure, is about as appetizing as the heartworm medicine a dog licks off your finger.) Then, you had the straightforward approach, via Erik’s mushrooms and sausage, and Nimma’s wild-mushroom mélange. You had the bold and the brave: Dale’s pickled kohlrabi, Stephanie’s melon-tomato sauce, and Richard’s peaches. And, then, you had Nikki, opening the door to the New York-style versus Chicago-style debate that no doubt will continue here, making a crust that was three inches deep. Heh. Heh. That’s good food television (if not good pizza-craft).

As I said, I won't engage in a religious war about pizza types, but since deep dish is such its own variant, I'd like to think even New Yorkers could appreciate it (my ex did).

Ted confirms something for me, too. When they first said they were having the chefs move in to the house they delivered to, I thought: where downtown* did they find something with 4 (or more) bedrooms? Then I took at look at the roof patio and said "Ahh, they went north". I wasn't positive it was Lincoln Park, but it seemed likely, and Ted says that's indeed where they are. It's a nice area, they should enjoy it.

Huh, Ted also has a different take on the mayonnaise thing, noting that Richard refused at first to share his mayo and not mentioning (maybe not knowing about?) the tutoring... hrm... well, I guess I can subtract .5 Cool Points from Richard if that's true.

Ted, your blog remains one of my favorite. I'm looking forward to an episode with you as a judge!

[*Pizzeria Uno has several locations, but I was pretty sure they were at the one downtown, though it occurs to me I don't know where the actual cooking location is. But I had thought they were still at least near-downtown. Not that Lincoln Park isn't. Near. Downtown. Anyhow.]

Rocco DiSpirito (B-)

Rocco's got an interesting little story about the history of pizza in his blog this week.

I'm going to not comment on his commentary on Chicago pizza, because I already said I wouldn't get into religious wars here, but a quick note: That crust he's dissing is, in my opinion, the perfect balance between the thin of NY style pizza and the thick of Sicilian, and I don't understand why he thinks it's heavy unless he's conflating it with the deep dish... and for the rest, see my Episode 1 QF notes.

Anyhow.

The rest of the blog goes over highlights of food, as one would hope the blogs do, and there's a couple more things of note:

First, Rocco is right... Nimma needs to understand her food is being judged on its merits, only. "Nice" isn't really the point. I know that isn't quite what he said, but close enough.

Second... Rocco mentions hollandaise is tricky. So true, it's why I don't think I could do an eggs benedict. But it's also one of the classic sauces (which he also mentions), so yes, a chef should know how to make it.

Third... Rocco shares my opinion that Ryan was way too defensive.

So, all in all I think I can forgive him on the pizza thing, because the comments he makes about the actual food seem pretty good.

(But, seriously, Rocco: the crust is too heavy? Go order some pizza from Aiello's on Elston, okay? Not deep dish. Thin crust. If I think of a good, still open deep dish place I'll let you know.)

Lee Anne Wong (A+)

Hrm. Lee Anne makes an interesting point about Zoi and Jennifer both being cast though they're dating: it's hard to narrow down your possible contestants to a group where no one knows each other. On the other hand, there's a far cry between "knowing each other" (Elia and Marcel) and, well, knowing each other... but anyhow, enough on that topic.

Another New Yorker who likes her NY pizza, at least she doesn't harp on it. (Though I have to say I have a hard time believing she learned to make 'fantastic' deep dish pizza from Pizzeria Uno, but I've already mentioned I think they're substandard, so I'll shut up about it now.)

Lee Anne, like Ted Allen, is always one of my favorites because her commentary tends to be spot on. This time is no different. Plus it's funny seeing her mention the Top Chef Drinking Game.

I love that all the chefs concede soufflé is really the tough dish to draw of the eight, but I love even more Lee Anne's response: "I wanted to give them both a hug for getting stuck with the soufflé."

And she, too, makes the point that Nimma needs a thicker skin.

Harold Dieterle (A-)

Harold also talks about pizza, and shares what he'd like to put on one.

Then he goes on to note something I actually almost missed: the chefs this year were allowed to bring their own ingredients (Mark's marmite), but his season wasn't. He says he'd have brought some "sexy" olive oil (Harold, don't make me take Cool Points for Buzzword Bingo) and specialty Thai ingredients (oh, that's much better).

And Harold is in the "soufflé is tricky" crowd, and notes something else which I didn't think of at the time, too: having to serve it last when it was all cooked at the same time is horrible timing to deal with. (Even a perfect soufflé deflates over time.)

And he covers the up and downsides of Jennifer and Zoi's attachment.

You know, for someone who tends to put out a shorter blog, Harold's really pretty good at hitting the major points of interest.

Casey Thompson (B)

One of our two Season 3 chef bloggers (Season 2 is conspicuously absent this year, hrm).

Casey gives us a bit of an insider's look at that first day, and notes that the chefs really need to pay attention to their first meetup location because it'll probably inform the Quickfire.

Though she doesn't name names, she notes she saw someone who reminded her of Hung, heh. Good rundown of the pizza part of the day (and another mention for that "ingredients from home" allowance).

Dale Levitski (B-)

Our other Season 3 blogger, and the hometown boy. He opens with quick highlights of his memories from Season 3.

His notes on the pizza: they got it easy, especially with the pre-made dough, and it's shameful the Chicagoans in the group were in the bottom. (I didn't even think of that!)

He goes on to opine the classic dishes were easy (except the soufflé, which was "mean") but liked the structure of the challenge.

Oh, hey, turns out Dale worked with Stephanie for a while. Small world. He says "she kinda rocks" and that her nervousness was out of character.

Overall he thinks the chefs look good and thinks the women are the ones to watch.

And Dale, hon, please... some better punctuation next time? Kthx, love ya.

---

And that wraps it up for what's available. Interestingly, there's a "Zoi & Jennifer" blog (empty), which... well, I'm still not sure how I feel about a dating pair being in the same competition, but trust Bravo to make the most of it. Also empty, the Team Top Chef blog, which I presume will be production staff of some sort.

Overall the quality of the official blogs is as high as ever (except Tom's, which seemed a bit of a phone in this week... a shame as usually I enjoy, even if I don't agree with, his remarks). So if you aren't already reading them, take a look. (Continue reading...)

TC Season 4, Episode 1 Elimination Challenge

Round 2: FIGHT!

So, they put Rocco DiSpirito and Anthony Bourdain at the same judges' table and no one died? I'm kinda impressed.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

It's morning in the Top Chef kitchen (I think, but it's not like you can tell) and Padma is waiting by a blank chalkboard as the chefs come in to the usual "Elimination Challenge Announcement" music, and incidentally, while I love the opening credits and would never change that song, could they at least vary the episodic music a little, maybe, huh? Well, I suppose it does serve as a useful cue. If you're not watching. Which I am. So...

Anyhow.

The contestants on the winning team are instructed to draw knives, and I fear it's going to be a team challenge, but thankfully, they've actually chosen to do something cool: a head-to-head challenge. The winners pick from the losers' pool in the order of the numbers on their knives. The loser picks a dish from the board (more on that in a moment). They both cook their interpretation of it. And out of each pair, one person is safe, and the other could potentially go home.

Nice. Very nice.

So, the list is eight "classic" dishes: lasagna, duck a la orange [sic], crab cakes, chicken piccata, eggs benedict, steak au poivre, shrimp scampi, soufflé.

Me and all 16 chefs immediately think (and, in one case, articulate): OMGWTFSOUFFLÉYOUBASTARDS???

I go on to think: what the hell is chicken piccata? Steak au poivre, should I know what that is? Oh, hell, what are the ingredients in shrimp scampi... I would be so dead in this challenge.

Then I remember that no force on this Earth could get me to participate in a cookoff with a serious time limit, and so it doesn't matter.

Richard picks first, and chooses Andrew, who immediately reminds us that Richard BLEEPED him in the Quickfire (I'd pay extra to see that) and so obviously it's fate, balls-to-balls, whatever. Andrew picks crab cakes, one of the two things on the list I'd be completely comfortable making, which is probably a good sign it's one of the two easiest dishes.

Mark picks Stephanie, looking like he's thinking "I have no idea, I'm just trying to remember someone's name"; she picks duck a l'orange. I probably could fake this, but it's definitely not the easiest choice left on the board.

Then they started going too fast for me to follow the order. I got the pairs sorted out later but not who picked first (though I remember who picked last, hehe). So, our other matchups are:

Jennifer vs Nikki: Lasagna. The other dish I'd identify as easy, though to be fair, it's actually not that hard to screw up lasagna. On the other hand, compared to some of the other dishes...

Antonia vs Nimma: Shrimp Scampi. I can't do this one without a recipe handy, myself, but then, I'm not a professional.

Spike vs Lisa: Eggs Benedict. This one I consider tricky, not so much for the other ingredients, but because of having to make a good hollandaise sauce. That latter bit would kill me, and if the sauce isn't good, the dish isn't right, so it's kinda important.

Dale vs Manuel: Steak au poivre, which it turns out I do know, only when I've eaten it it's been "peppercorn steak". I could probably manage a decent one, but it's not a gimme by any means.

Ryan vs Valerie: Chicken picatta. Seriously, I honestly had no clue what this was until I looked it up... and then realized I'd had it, and just forgotten the name, probably because there are about 1000 dishes named "Chicken Something-A". Anyhow, I obviously would've failed on this since I didn't know what was in it (unless I could ask someone or copy off my lab partner's test).

And that leaves soufflé, which Erik and Zoi are stuck with. Now, though some people might feel it's exaggerated to note that soufflé will fall if you just look at it funny, it really is tricky to work with, and if on top of that you haven't made one in about a million years, well... all I can say is that I'm sympathetic, and even the judges were sympathetic.

My first note on cooking is, and I quote: "Nimma, you cannot marinate in a solid. Therefore you cannot marinate something 'in' parsley." I presume she meant "with" parsley. Maybe with some "amazing" olive oil, I don't know.

Ryan was clearly, from the get-go, trying way too hard and over-thinking. He seemed to recognize it later in private interviews. Maybe.

Nikki, of course, has to remind us she's Italian and therefore she has to make fresh pasta dough. She says this as if she's discussing making something terribly intricate that no one else has ever done. I am not really taking to Nikki, can you tell?

Mark gets best line of the episode: "No, we just say 'orange', mate." Heh. Despite this, he's working on a deconstructed dish, so I think he knows what he's doing, at least in theory.

Erik and Zoi are both very happy their soufflés are rising. Heck, Zoi seems as happy about her rival's soufflé as her own. I smile fondly at both of them. (And seriously, what sadist included that one? I mean... oh, never mind.)

Nimma is wandering around muttering about her flan not setting. I write after this note "go home". She decides to turn it into a "nice cauliflower scramble". I boggle at this juxtaposition of terms.

Richard... Richard has a minismoker. Heh, heh, heh, mad scientist. He gets one of the better sound bytes with: "I want some people to be like 'What the [beep] did that guy just do?'" I love him immensely for this attitude, because it seems so different than the whole "Molecular gastronomy is better than you all and you shall worship it" vibe we may have seen in the past.

Food and judgement time!

Mark and Stephanie present their duck sorta orange. Mark's uses dashi-steeped enoki, squash puree, roasted duck with tangerine and soy, and something he calls a saketini. I... um. Well, indvidually they sound interesting (except the saketini) but I'm not sure what he's doing exactly. Neither are the judges. Stephanie has seared duck with miatake mushrooms, bok choy, a duck leg spring roll, and a reduction sauce with orange glaze. The judges like this far better; Bourdain actually compliments her and then repeats it, which she's amazed and relieved at. Stephanie is safe, Mark is on the losers' list.

Andrew and Richard present their crab cakes. Andrew tries to explain how he left in a big lump in the middle, and the image this brings up isn't pleasant. Also, what the heck is cilantro basil 'pudding'? I'm not objecting to the cilantro-basil part, just the pudding part. Richard does something involving apples and brussel sprouts and mustard, which I'm sorry but that sounds hideous, and has his smoke flavor. The judges like his dish better.

Andrew then runs his mouth, with a few bleeps for fun's sake. Richard says he never wants to cook a crab cake again. I don't know why; they're yummy. Well, my way. Maybe not his.

Nikki: says something about sheep's milk gouda, which is about all I catch. The judges think her fresh pasta is superb. I... sure, okay. Jennifer says she went northern Italian with autumn veggies and a bunch of other stuff... it sounds fairly good until the judges mention that the rutabaga (and maybe some other things) are undercooked, and I wonder how she managed that in a baked dish. Anyhow, Nikki wins, I think probably deservedly so, even if I don't like her and she immediately scores a Buzzword Bingo point when she says she "put her heart into it", and also, keep your organs out of the dinner, okay?

Antonia's shrimp scampi merits multiple "mmm"s from Rocco, and possibly from other judges. Nimma talks about her parsley butter and her cauliflower scramble. I think Antonia was winning no matter what, but Nimma apparently oversalted to the point of disgust, so that clinches it.

At this point, I note that Bourdain seems to be acting awfully nicely compared to usual. No worries, there's still some snark in him.

'Spike' and Lisa present their eggs benedict, and all I caught was that Spike's had bacon and mushrooms and Lisa may have used challa bread. Bourdain asks his fellow judges to decide the issue based on which is the better hangover dish, and I laugh because I've heard people claim that Eggs Benedict is a great hangover dish and I've always thought that was so weird... but anyhow, Lisa wins, but only just.

Dale's steak au poivre involves parsley puree and bok choy. Manuel's involves mushroom ceviche, scallions, and cilantro, because he wanted to incorporate Mexican flavors. Somehow, though, this turns into "Dale took chances" (presumably meaning Manuel didn't, which seems untrue) so he comes out on top, phrasing chosen judiciously.

Ryan starts going on so fast about what's in his dish that I only catch something about cutlets, lemon-potato gnocchi (as opposed to those non-potato gnocchi, I suppose), and marscapone. I've recently looked up what's in chicken picatta and I'm pretty sure he made something else. Valerie did something with orange "instead of lemon", so at least she seems to have remembered more of what was in it, but both of them take some heat for not making picatta. Ryan has apparently committed the cardinal sin of using bread-crumbs instead of just flour and egg. Rocco wants to know where his "lovely acidic butter sauce" is in both dishes. Valerie is grudgingly accorded the winner.

Ryan immediately starts saying he hates that people will now think he's a flop, and my reaction is "Okay, you're a flop, shut up."

Erik's soufflé is savory, involving pepperjack cheese (which I typo in my notes), avocado (which I typo in my notes), creme fraiche (which I spell correctly in my notes, heh), black bean sauce, salsa... it's not a bad combo of flavors, but I think it's a bit much. Zoi does a sweet rice pudding soufflé with candied figs and fennel, and espresso on the side. Bourdain hesitates, apparently in his Nice phase, and asks almost gently if either of them have ever made soufflé before. The judges agree it's messy, concede it's a tough dish, Tom likes Zoi's flavors, they all agree neither was really good as a soufflé, Zoi wins.

Erik says "okay" when this news is delivered, and then interviews that he's not happy with himself. Thank you for not blaming the judges or the other contestants, Erik. +10 Cool Points.

At this point, I predict that either Richard or Stephanie will win, and while I was spoiled by Bravo about the loser, I would have predicted Nimma and Ryan in the bottom without knowing anything, too.

First called in: Antonia, Nikki, Richard, and Stephanie. This is clearly the winning group based on the judges' comments, and I'm pleased it includes my guesses. Tom says all four dishes were wonderful. Rocco picks Stephanie, who smiles the biggest smile I think we've ever seen on a cheftestant. Bourdain calls her dish impressive, and I wonder if they secretly made a Bourdain robot with a niceness circuit. They don't show any other comments.

The bottom group is: Ryan, Erik, Nimma, and Mark. I was honestly a little surprised about Mark.

As the chefs walk in, Rocco is looking very dispiritoed. Er. I mean, glum and disappointed.

Erik's soufflé gets the same basic comments, with some added detail. Erik says "I made glorified nachos. I'm not proud of it." +10 Cool Points. Again. I am always so happy when the chefs are willing to admit they screwed something up.

Nimma: Tom asks if her cauliflower scramble started life as a flan, and apparently agrees with me that if she can't make flan she might not have the skills to be a top chef. Nimma makes a long list of excuses, but eventually concedes she showed some bad judgement.

Bourdain calls Mark's dish "silly and pretentious" (the niceness circuit must have malfunctioned) in response to Mark explaining how he wanted to deconstruct the dish. I have to admit that Mark is not someone I would've pegged for being about the deconstructing... I think I was imagining something a bit more intuitive for him. Anyhow, they're milder on him than on Nimma.

Ryan begins trying to explain, again so fast and so much that he baffles Tom. Stop overexplaining, Ryan. Shut up. Tom brings up the breadcrumbs again, pointing out that what Ryan made was more a chicken milanese than a chicken picatta because bread crumbs are the difference. (I expect there was more to it than that, but okay.) What struck me is how Ryan was talking about reducing the starch while Tom was mentioning how bread crumbs weren't even part of the dish.... anyhow. Eventually, Ryan shut up.

Tom says, and I mostly agree, that these are classic dishes that everyone needs to know, because if you don't know what the classics are, you can't understand modern food, either.

After sending the contestants out, the judges confer.

On Ryan: Bourdain says he didn't know what was coming out of his (Ryan's) mouth, and yeah, I agree. Rocco says "Let's just say it wasn't only his gnocchi which were dense", and I suddenly wonder if Rocco and Bourdain swapped brains, or what.

The rest of the dishes seem to get badly panned, too, but to be honest, the editing was so choppy I wasn't sure about most of the specifics. They wanted to cut Erik some slack on the soufflé, all agreeing it's not an easy dish, but they didn't like his ingredient choices. Mark's dish was 'weak' and the saketini sucked.

Back in with the contestants. Tom tells Ryan that he needs to know the classics, Mark that what he made wasn't really duck a l'orange and nothing worked together, Nimma that flan is simple and it didn't work, plus too much salt, and Erik basically what they said privately, adding that he needs to know how to make a soufflé.

And... Nimma's out. And to be honest, I'm kinda glad, because she was clearly not going to last long no matter what, and considering how badly she reacts to criticism, I think she's better off not being on Top Chef. She says in her exit interview she needs to just keep studying and trying, and to that I add: learn to take criticism, because you are going to get it.

So... let's talk a moment about editing. I realize that at the start, when there's the most contestants, that it's really tough to get a bit of everyone in, but this episode seemed unusually choppy even for a first episode. The winners' table got almost zero commentary, we only saw maybe half the contestants coming in and learned almost nothing about the rest before moving to the quickfire (not even name plates on a quick shot), and... it just seemed very confusing. I do wish they'd plan better for this in the future (if there is a future, and no, not predicting, but shows do come and go)... at least give us a quick photo and name plate for everyone (maybe with home restaurant) and also give us a full list of quickfire and elimination dishes. And if they can't fit that in, then the site should have far more details about the dishes than they do, since at least in theory this is a show about cooking.

In theory this should smooth out as they have fewer people to concentrate on, though. Let's hope. (Continue reading...)

TC Season 4, Episode 1 Quickfire

Three things, before we get into the actual episode writeup.

First, I don't have a Tivo, or any kind of recording device. Everything you see in this post is based primarily on notes I made on a single watch-through as it was happening. That means I lost some details, and the impressions are pretty snap. I type very quickly so I kept up better than one might suspect, but I guarantee I missed things. I may try doing future episodes by watching more than one showing, but this one's running late as it is, so if I get vague about stuff, please forgive me. (A few details were filled in from official and blogger sources.)

Secondly, I was born and raised in Chicago. It is not where I live now, but it's where I'm from. So, on the one hand, I have the background with styles of cuisine and history of restaurants, have the Chicago pizza bias (see below), etc. but on the other hand, I haven't lived there for a while so my knowledge of current culinary hotspots is pretty much nil. I like to think it'll give me an interesting perspective. We'll see.

Thirdly... oh, this is a doozie. See, I don't like getting into religious wars, by which I do not mean debates on actual religion (though I don't like those, either), but also any X vs Y: Windows vs Mac (vs Unix), emacs vs vi, milk chocolate vs dark, and so forth. But... Chicago pizza vs New York is a big one, and it's going to be hard, because, yes, I've had both, and yes, I definitely prefer my hometown pizza, and yes, a lot of the people on the show are New Yorkers and are going to say things that make me want to rant. Nonetheless, I'm going to resolve to try to keep that out of my writeups. Luckily, they went straight to the pizza, so it may never even come up again, but I'd also ask that if anyone does comment here, they keep it to the level of "I prefer n style of pizza", and not dis on the other style, okay? Thanks.

Okay. Let's begin.

I always love the opening credits, but it takes me a few runs through to have any real thoughts about it.

My first thought is: Are they flying these poor people into Midway? I can't tell, because the editing never lingers on anything long enough, but I do notice that they're picking up their baggage at Continental, which a) makes it a little more likely and b) makes me feel a little bad for the contestants, to be honest. Midway's better than it used to be, but Continental isn't.

First impressions of some of the chefs:

Ryan: Stop bragging.
Nimma: She mentions she's Muslim, and I immediately wonder if her family is liberal or if she's an adult convert. It can be tough to be a professional woman and a good Muslim woman at the same time, so good on her for trying.
Mark: You hit one of my pet peeves with the phrase 'very unique'. Unique or not, no qualifiers, please. (Besides, all people are unique.)
Richard: I already love you for saying nice things about my hometown, and I'm still a little boggled you're the Designated Mad Scientist of the season, fauxhawk aside.
Stephanie: She's so pretty, and I hope more people notice that and her great smile than the few extra pounds she has on her. To be honest, I actually like to see chefs with a little extra weight, because I also think that means they're enjoying their art.
Zoi, Jennifer: The big shocker! Or, well, okay, more a bit of a surprise, but as you've no doubt heard by now, they're dating. I don't envy them dealing with the relationship in the context of a competition.

So, their first meeting is in Pizzeria Uno. Yeah, okay, it's iconic Chicago, but to be honest, I find it terribly overrated, as do a lot of other people I know. For good thin crust Chicago pizza, Rosati's or Aiello's is far better... deep dish is harder since some of the places I liked most are gone now, but I'm not really thrilled with Uno's deep dish. Maybe Giordano's, though they're better for their stuffed. Surprisingly, this doesn't tip me off as to the Quickfire, though in retrospect, I don't know why.

Here comes Chef Tom, and as he opens the door, he's smirking a smirk so wide that I'm deeply afraid for a moment he's going to turn into a South Park Canadian. But by the time he addresses the chefs, he's all Stern Daddy Tom. Anyhow, he and Padma welcome the chefs to Top Chef Season 4: Chicago (yay!), and then they go to the Quickfire which is to make an original and innovative sandwich.

No, of course it isn't. It's to make deep dish pizza.

A word about deep dish: although Chicago is widely known for it, those of us from the city consider it a class of its own. When I say "pizza", what I mean is "thin crust", which is thicker than NY but thinner than what you get most places in the Bay Area in California, and is cut square instead of pie-style. Deep dish is... bread with stuff on it. It's good, and obviously if you're doing a cooking show in Chicago you're going to do it, but it's not the only, or even the default, type of pizza in Chicago. I feel compelled to point this out because people seem to treat it as if it were. (And no one even ever seems to mention stuffed, which is the third of the Chicago trilogy. Oh, you'll find thick ('Sicilian') and pan (thicker than thick, not at the deep dish level), but those other three are the biggies, and 'thin' is the default.)

Deep dish pizza's tricky, but not impossible, for a Quickfire. As it appeared they had pre-made dough, it was merely a matter of rolling it out, shaping it, topping it, and baking it (that itself probably taking almost as long as the rest). Now, that still takes skill and style, and if you've never done deep dish, it's easy to overdo the dough (as you see later), but everyone should be able to do the basics, so it's the topping choices that are going to be the key here.

Some notes about what I caught in cooking:

Dale: my notes say he used some sort of pickled vegetable, shallots, kohlrabi, and some sort of hot sauce (was it sambal? I didn't catch it, but as he's Filipino I thought it might be). It sounds, well... odd. But the hot sauce idea was a very good one, and shallots is a nice choice. Later on, though, Dale ruins it all by doing his best Hung impression, mentioning how he was looking around and everyone else sucked (paraphrased). My notes actually read "Oh, hi Hung! Oh, no wait, it's Dale."

Valerie: "Meat and potatoes pizza" is all I caught, but that could be interesting... well, not sure about the potatoes part.

Nikki: Of course immediately disses the deep dish. I'm amused to see her result is puffed up like a... well, something very swollen, okay? It seemed karmic.

Mark: Okay, I'm not surprised he brought marmite, but eww. And he put it on pizza? Double eww. One more eww and he can start a web site.

Antonia: Says that as an Italian her pizza should be great, and certainly it sounds good, with prosciutto and heirloom tomatoes.

Richard: Peach. Sweet tea. Pizza. One of these things is not like the other.

Spike: AHA! I knew that wasn't his real name! Evangelos is a nice name, what's wrong with that? Anyhow, he does a Greek-influenced pizza, and while I'm iffy on feta on pizza, it sounds fairly good.

Lisa: Uses the words "Asian influence". I lose my place while recording this on my Buzzword Bingo card.

Andrew: Richard stole my pan! CURSES! Literal ones!

Why, why on earth were there not extras, just in case? WHY?

So, there they go, off to deliver their pizza to... Rocco DiSpirito! And the crowd goes wild! Or... confused. Because I thought he was from New York, but here he is in a house in Chicago. And he is from New York. He's just house-sitting, or something, I guess.

And in judging:

Richard: Peach taleggio, fennel sausage, sweet tea reduction. Still not convinced, even if Rocco liked it. (Besides, Rocco and I don't have the same taste in pizza.)
Someone I didn't catch: Escarole, ricotta, butternut squash. Um. Not convinced on this one, either.
Nikki: Does a 'white pie'. That's... not really very Chicagoan, but I guess it could be good, if you can find the rest of the pie in the seriously very swollen crust she presented.
Jennifer: Grapes, bacon, fontina, rosemary. Now, I admit my initial reaction was 'eww'. My second reaction was "grapes... on pizza... no...". But after thinking about it, that's actually a good grouping of ingredients, so maybe it wasn't bad.
Nimma: Onions with multiple mushrooms, and (ironically, it will turn out), nowhere near enough salt. Sound idea, bad execution.
Mark: Turns out it's a marmite molasses... that might improve it. Other ingredients are chicken (which I'm neutral on on pizza) and tomato sauce (which I tend to believe pizza should always have). Again, Rocco likes this, but... I'm still not convinced here, either. Boy's got some ideas, though.

Lisa, Nimma, Valerie, Manuel, Andrew, Stephanie, Nikki, and Zoi are sent to the back corner, for they were bad. Stephanie's proscuitto was overcooked. Nimma's pizza was dry, and the dried morels especially were not a good choice. (No one mentions salt.)

The other eight are the winners (look, I amazingly got all eight "losers" on the first watch-through, don't expect me to have typed all eight winners' names too). Rocco says he was confounded by Richard's description but was proven wrong about his expectations; Mark made marmite taste good. (I really, really don't think Rocco and I have the same taste in pizza.)

Post-judging, they're told the house they're in is their home during the season. Nice-looking place, too. Andrew brags at us, even though he was in the bottom (because he was BLEEPED OVER, MAN). Nimma is practically in tears over being in the bottom, and I already predict she is going home early, because if you can't take even one loss and some mild critiquing, you are really, really on the wrong show. She goes on to separate herself from the others, which I think is a little childish of her.

Next post: The Elimination Challenge! (Continue reading...)

Buzzword Bio Bingo #2: The Videos

Okay, sorry for the delay, but I had to re-watch the videos to catch everything I wanted to cover and the site was being bitchy... BTW, Dear Bravo, could we maybe cut down the commercial time for the site videos a wee tad? Kisses! JRB.

Andrew

Andrew tells us he's 30 and was born in Brooklyn, NY (which he pronounces as if he were born in Tennessee), grew up in Florida, and is now in NY again.

His mother was an eclectic cook and influenced him.

Buzzword Bio Bingo #1: Cooking is an art form (which involves all five senses).

Rant time!

I am sick of chefs explaining that they like cooking because it's an art form. Can we put a moritorium on that? When we interview musicians and writers, that's not the first thing out of their mouths, y'know. They tell us specific things, don't they? (Don't they? Will I have to next invent Musician Buzzword Bingo?) I'm equally sick of being reminded that cooking involves all five senses (though honestly I don't think hearing comes into play much). Tell me something specific! Tell me you love the way smell and taste interplay, at the very least, or that you feel satisfaction when you put out a beautiful plate, or that you like the puzzle of fitting together ingredients in new ways. And you can create memories with good art? Say it isn't so! (That's not limited to cooking, kids. Honest.)
[End rant]

Andrew would win the "unfortunate phrasing" competition if I were holding one by using the word 'regurgitate' in reference to food.

Cooking style: "Different". This one is a near-buzzword, but I'm not counting it. He then lists the exact same styles of cuisine he did when discussing his mother.

Favorite cuisine to both cook and eat: Jamaican, for its strong flavors and its scotch bonnet peppers. I give him credit for being able to say why, and for picking a cuisine that you don't hear about as much.

Favorite comfort food: Hot wings. Repeated.

Must-have kitchen appliance: Buzzword! Er, I mean, Japanese mandoline. (Incidentally, why Japanese? I've seen mandolines that don't have this qualifier attached. Are they really different? Help a non-professional out here.)

Favorite ingredient: A spice called urfa biber, which he says is a smoked Indian pepper at first then corrects to Turkish (the latter is correct). His attempts to describe it are funny.

Buzzword Bio Bingo #3: His strategy will include pouring his soul onto the plate. I think he really should keep that thing somewhere safer.

Antonia

Antonia introduces herself by telling us about where she works.

She got into cooking because it's all she did as a child, which seems a little circular, but okay... and then she tells us she was "forced" to be in the kitchen "but loves it". She's a "feed all guests" type, and notes it's because she's Italian.

Cooking style: Simple, fresh, really good comfort food, which she goes on to define. I'll ignore her mention of seasonality because it's in an okay way, but I still twitch when I hear the word.

Favorite cuisine to cook and eat: Italian, and then goes on to say what she likes about it.

She also loves desserts, which she admits she isn't good at.

Favorite kitchen appliance: Buzzword! Er, I mean, Japanese mandoline. (Okay, to be fair, yes, it's a great tool, but still, why Japanese?)

Favorite ingredient: Buzzword! Er, I mean, olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

Least favorite ingredient: Saffron. (Take that, Ilan!)

Dale

Dale is from Chicago, but it's not where he lives now.

Got into cooking because of his Filipino heritage (which does make sense, the Filipino friends I've had are definitely big on cooking big family meals). He's first generation American.

Favorite cuisine to cook and eat: Vietnamese... which I'll give him a pass on Asian buzzword for because of his background and that he named one specific Asian cuisine, and why.

Comfort food: Braised oxtails and peanuts, a food his mom made (he gave the Filipino name for it but I couldn't figure out how it was spelled).

Must-have kitchen tool: Chef's knives.

Favorite ingredient: Oxtails, because of their difficulty, interestingly.

Least favorite ingredient: Eggplant, but he had to think about it... I'm guessing he's willing to try a bit of anything.

Erik

From San Francisco, but originally from NY. He's an executive chef.

He got into cooking because his family is a professional cooking family.

Buzzword Bio Bingo: He has a great Passion for cooking.

Buzzword Bio Bingo #2: Cooking is art. Obliquely said.

Cooking style: Classic (including Buzzword Asian), but comfort food... hrm.

Favorite cuisine to eat: American food (steaks, ribs, barbecue). Good for him! I know a lot of people look down on American food, but there's some really good stuff that's typical American, so it's really nice to see a professional say this.

Favorite food to cook: Fried chicken, from his grandfather's recipe.

Favorite kitchen appliance: Knives, including his "Japanese steel". I love that he says "steel", because he sorta looks like a biker to me.

Favorite ingredient: Truffles (and he explains why).

Least-favorite ingredient: Foie gras (apparently he's my buddy on this one).

Jen

Jen's from San Francisco.

Became interested in cooking at a young age, originally a busser, and got to work in the kitchen from there, and she ended up going to culinary school right out of high school.

Cheftestants: Please take note of how she describes what she likes about cooking. These are the ways you say "art form" and "seasonal" without being boring or Buzzwordy! Good job, Jen...

Her style she refers to as "rustic", and while she again mentions the seasonal ingredients, the way she does it avoids the Buzzword Bingo point.

Favorite cuisine: California, Mediterranean, especially Italian

Favorite junk food: She doesn't eat junk food, but she loves carnitas tacos. Um... well, okay.

Must-have kitchen appliance: Buzzword! Er, I mean, Vitaprep blender.

Least favorite ingredient: Wild rice, because it's like grass (and then she goes on to note it is grass, heh).

Favorite ingredient: Fresh-made pasta.

Lisa

Lisa is from New York and unemployed.

She's been interested in cooking since she was a kid (apparently like everyone). She thinks the best part is giving someone a dish that brings up good memories or they feel is orgasmic. There's another way to not-mention art and its effects to note.

Favorite cuisine: Buzzword, er, Asian-influenced. She goes on to mention she likes cooking most cuisines but Japanese and Italian are not her strengths and she favors Thai, Vietnamese to both cook and eat.

Comfort food and indulgence: Cereal for the former, chocolate-covered strawberries for the latter. I think 'cereal' may actually be a first for this category, but I can see how it's a comfort food for sure.

Favorite appliance: A spoon! And a Buzzword! Er, a Japanese mandoline.

Most over-rated ingredient: Lobster. I'm with ya.

Go-to ingredients: Cilantro, lime juice, fish sauce.

She doesn't like cooking with or eating salmon.

Buzzword Bio Bingo #2: Her strategy includes Passion. (The rest of it is pretty good, though.)

Manuel

I said I'd mention something interesting about Manuel when I got to his video, so let's start with that: When he says his name and his nickname (and later on when he uses some Spanish words), he has a very definitive accent. The entire rest of the video, he sounds like a generic American. I presume this speaks to his having grown up with two languages. If you didn't find this interesting, well, I'm done, so let's move on.

He tells a funny story about his childhood introduction to cooking.

He loves cooking because it's instant gratification (which he goes on to clarify he means that it's fast to do, unlike music or painting, and so therefore, another example of how to note you like the artistic qualities of cooking without saying "cooking is an art").

He calls his personal style eclectic, simple, homey, bold flavors.

Favorite cuisine: Mexican, because of his heritage and its familiarity, especially the chilis and spices.

Favorite comfort food: Tacos; you can wrap anything up in a tortilla!

Favorite appliance: His juicer; he loves using fresh juice in cooking.

Doesn't like: Raw (bell) peppers.

Loves: Salt... which normally I'd probably snark about, but, he mentions actual different varieties.

Manuel, congratulations, you made it through an entire interview without a buzzword! Love ya, man.

Mark

"Hello, my name is Mahk, and Oi am from a little place, uh... called New Zealand."

Heh, sorry, I just love accents. He's been in the U.S. for about three years. He got into cooking because he needed a job. Heh. He started a dishwasher and moved on from there.

What he likes best about cooking is the gratification of cooking for family and friends.

His style is influenced by, well, the stuff close to where he grew up: NZ, Australia, Japanese, Indian. And take note: he mentions that his tastes varies with the season because of what's available. That's how you do it, yup, especially with the mentioning of specific seasonal qualities.

He loves Krispy Kremes.

Favorite kitchen appliance: The stove, heh. I frankly imagine him being asked this question and his initial answer being to respond "Are you taking the piss, mate?", based on how he says this.

Favorite ingredient: Tomatoes.

Least favorite ingredient: Bleu cheese, which he doesn't like the smell of.

Hrm. He managed to avoid Buzzword Bingo, too. Maybe I'm being unfair to the chefs... nah.

Nikki

Nikki is a New Yorker, yup.

Buzzword Bio Bingo: She always had a Passion for food and wine.

Her first job was an a pork store? What's a pork store? Did I hear this wrong? I replayed it several times... I keep hearing it that way.... what the HELL is a pork store? She loves the energy of cooking and making people happy.

Her cooking style is (buzzword) "seasonal". I'm not sure how you can call that a cooking style; it may inform the ingredients, but not the methods. She does go on to say she plans her menus around the seasons and likes using organic products, which makes up for this a bit.

Favorite cuisine to cook: Italian.

Comfort food: Matzo ball soup. I actually thought at first she might be Jewish, but she says she's Italian and you don't meet many Italian Jews... and then she says this... is she maybe both? Who knows?

Favorite appliance(s): Ice cream maker (it's fun), can't live without utility knife.

Favorite ingredient: Leafy greens.

Least favorite ingredient: Beans.

Her strategy is to pay attention and focus, which is a good idea no matter what you're doing.

Nimma

She's from Hotlanta, Georgia.

She first got interested in cooking as a young teen; her father's in the restaurant business (in fast food) and she used to go to work with him.

The thing she likes about cooking is the ability to cook how you feel, how flexible it is.

Her cooking style is "simple, but flavorful", she doesn't like to stick to specific cuisines.

Favorite cuisine to cook and eat: Italian.

Comfort food: Anything starchy, especially pasta.

Favorite kitchen appliance: Pasta machine, and (buzzword) Vitamix blender.

Favorite ingredient: I think she said vincotto? I had to look it up, it's a balsamic vinegar. I'd give her a buzzword point for this except it's specific enough to avoid it. But she does get one for then mentioning olive oil on top of it. Are there cooks that don't like olive oil in this country? Seriously?

Doesn't like: Green peppers, there's more flavor with the reds and yellows. (This is true, though I do think that green peppers go well in sauces and such.)

Richard

Let me talk about Richard's hair for a moment. First, the fauxhawk is still over. But at first what I thought is, here's an older guy who saw this and decided to adopt it just because he liked it (not because it's In Fashion), and doesn't he kinda remind you a bit of the J. F. Sebastian character in Bladerunner? And in an odd way, that turns out to be apt, because while it's subtle, as Richard talks, it suddenly dawns on me: He's this season's Mad Scientist.

His first cooking-related job was at a McDonald's, which he's moved up from, obviously. He likes the camraderie of the kitchen, which reminds him of the team-work of sports. What he likes best about it is the artistic freedom to whatever you want and to make people happy.

His style, he describes as "modern, thoughtful, inspired, creative".

Favorite cuisine is... well, "modern" food, but he's not sure how best to describe it. What he goes on to explain is to say that it's not specific cuisines, but rather things from them.

Food indulgence: A big juicy cheeseburger. (He says he doesn't know anyone who doesn't like one, and I'm like, um, vegetarians? Jews? Ahh, never mind.)

Favorite kitchen appliance: Immersion circulator. It was here that I realized "modern" meant "food science". It really snuck up on me, I admit... not what I expected out of the apparent high-school jock.

Favorite and least favorite ingredients: He doesn't have any, because style and tastes for him vary over time.

Richard, despite being the designated Mad Scientist, manages to completely avoid the Buzzword Bingo thing by being specific and informative. Good interview. I still am boggled he's our Mad Scientist, but I'm curious to see how an older chef incorporates those techniques.

Ryan

Another person who got into cooking as a kid, and I immediately peg him as being a rich kid with parents who spoiled him. May not be fair, we'll see.

He likes best about cooking, that with "our" two hands, "we" can "create, stimulate, and do beautiful things", and "there's not a lot of people who can do that". Um. I don't even know where to start with this, other than to note that never has the cooking-sex vocabulary overlapped more... and, well, no, I'll stop there.

Cooking style: Seasonal... and I'm debating about whether or not to award him the buzzword point, because he then goes on to say he likes changing with the seasonal ingredients, which is more reasonable. But again, "seasonal" doesn't really strike me a style, per se, so, yeah: Buzzword point.

Favorite cuisine to cook: Mediterranean.

Favorite cuisine to eat: Pizza, an "old staple" of his life.

Favorite junk food (aside from pizza, one presumes): Ranch dressing.

Favorite appliance: Vitaprep buzzwords.

Favorite ingredients: Seasonal ones. Here, the answer is reasonable.

Least-favorite ingredient: He hates raw bell peppers, which seems to rather be a theme this year.

Spike

Another person raised in a family full of professionals.

What he loves about cooking is not just the food but also the social, entertainment, and other business aspects.

Personal cooking style: He feels it's hard to narrow it down because he's young and had a lot of influences from his family heritage and business.

Favorite food: Greek.

Favorite kitchen appliance: His spoon, which he says is like part of his body. Scary.

Doesn't like: Liver.

Most favorite ingredient: Lemon. But not those wimpy American lemons, because those suck, apparently. Dear Spike: Don't buy lemons from the convenience store, maybe you'll like them better.

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Being a Passionate cook is part of his strategy.

He also mentions "don't try to re-invent" and "salt and pepper", so it's not a stupid strategy, it just has a stupid buzzword.

Stephanie

A home-town girl.

She became interested in cooking after a visit to Epcot's Around the World foodery. Huh.

Favorite thing about cooking: It's a buzzword. Er, an art form. She redeems herself a little bit by noting she's from a family of artists and this is just her way of expressing herself. But, still a buzzword point, sorry.

Cooking style: Simple, classic techniques with exciting flavor combinations and good texture and colour. And having fun.

Favorite cuisine to cook: Italian, with a twist.

Favorite cuisine to eat: Everything.

Favorite food indulgence: Large quantities of cheese.

Must-have kitchen appliance: A Vitabuzzword.

Favorite ingredient: Preserved lemons.

Least favorite ingredient: Hominy.

This is a woman who really enjoys her cooking, I can tell.

Valerie

Another hometown girl.

She became interested in cooking in part because her mom was a bad cook, but she didn't really get into it professionally until later in life. She likes the creativity of it. Note she does not say "cooking is an art".

Cooking style: Simple. Elegant. Buzzwordy. Er, Asian.

Favorite cuisine: Any type of Asian, and she even names quite a few.

Favorite thing to eat: Barbecue ribs. Yum.

Must-have kitchen appliance: Besides her chef knife, a mandoline. And then she says "like, a Japanese mandoline", which sounds like she was asked to clarify... so no buzzword point for that, but seriously, can someone please clear this up for me? It can't be just to differentiate from the instrument, because context should be enough for that...

Favorite ingredients: Garlic and onions.

Least favorite ingredient: She doesn't really feel she has one, but she doesn't like beets to eat.

Zoi

Zoi is originally from Seattle, and now lives in San Francisco.

She became interested in cooking late by comparison, at 20. It started as just a job, but she ended up falling in love with it. The coolest thing about cooking for her is that she gets to do what she loves as her job. I like this answer a lot.

Her cooking style: Classic, rustic, mostly-southern European. She likes local, seasonal ingredients. Note she does not claim this is her style, so no buzzword point.

One cuisine she loves to cook and eat: Italian

Comfort food/indulgence: "I don't eat fast food." "I love fried chicken." Um. Okay.

Must-have Really cool appliance: a wood-burning stove.

Favorite ingredients: She has many favorites, but especially anchovy in small quantities.

Least favorite thing to eat personally: Beets.

---

So... given the actual number of chefs who avoided Buzzword Bio Bingo points, maybe I was exaggerating a wee tad. But honestly, I think the ones who did it more than made up for it. Now, I do understand there are trends in cooking and similarities in why people become great chefs, but I think I've explained why I'm biased against some of the things I've heard too much.

For the others... okay, I admit it, "olive oil and balsamic" didn't appear much at all. But as I said elsewhere, they just seem so basic. I mean, as I ask above, are there cooks in the U.S. who don't favor olive oil for its versatility if nothing else? I have some in my cupboard, one of the three oils I consider essential (the others being safflower and peanut), and I'm not even a professional. And balsamic vinegar, really, another basic ingredient.

"Passion for cooking", just a quick expansion on this: Hey, you know what? You've entered a cooking competition, we didn't think you did that for your health. I would venture to opine that all great chefs have a passion for their art. And that goes for you people trying to serve me your hearts and souls, too.

"Asian" influence. I don't think I have to explain to any foodies or professionals why this qualifies a buzzword, and I'm guilty of using it myself. Plus it's so vague, though that's a secondary problem. Still, that latter is why I am more willing to give a pass to people who name specific countries.

"Japanese mandoline" I covered, but then there's "Vita mixer/blender". My problem with this is that it's just a brand name. It may be a particularly good brand, but it can't possibly be the only one that produces good mixers and blenders. Or is this another Xerox/Kleenex/Other genericized brand name thing? Or am I missing something by not being a professional? I mean, feel free to tell me if I'm wrong, that somehow Vitamix is the epitome of blenders such that they qualify as unique things.

Okay, I'm done. Next up: the actual episode reviews! Yay! (Continue reading...)

Multiple posts coming...

In the afternoon sometime, likely.

I've actually got most of the actual episode posts written... and it's "posts", plural, because I had so much to say that the Quickfire and the Elimination each get their own post. I've also got some commentary about the Officlal Blogs to share with you. What I don't have, because I still need to rewatch the bio videos, is Buzzword Bio Bingo part 2. I expect it won't take long to do, I just need the source material handy and my headphones are missing so I can't run them again til the other person in the house is awake.

So, lots more by tomorrow!
(Continue reading...)

Buzzword Bio Bingo #1

After reading and watching the bios of the Top Chef Season 4 'cheftestants' on Bravo, I am now convinced that they pass around a buzzword cheatsheet to industry professionals each year before conducting interviews. On this year's list: "seasonal [food or ingredients]", "Japanese mandoline", and "Vita mixer/blender", among others.

But let's jump back a little. I'm going to go over this in the order I originally did: quick print bios first, then videos (which I'll break into a second post).

Cheftestant #1: Andrew. Andrew, your 'simple spring recipe' is not simple, and it doesn't sound appetizing. Now, I'm biased: I don't like mixing in sweet fruits with savory tastes very much. But really: strawberries and mango and fish sauce and siracha and basil and mint all together? (Not to mention several other ingredients.) Sounds like something that would horrendously fight itself. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I need to taste it, but I think that's really a bit much.

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Three Asian influences mentioned. It seems to be popular this year, although to be honest it's always popular lately, to mention you incorporate Asian flavors... it's actually almost getting boring. On the other hand, One Cool Point for at least naming specifics instead of using the word "Asian".

#2: Antonia. Your recipe is at least simple. I'm not sure how I'd like it as I'm not a huge fan of beets but it seems sound enough in principle, and I like the idea of mixing goat cheese and almonds. Plus one Cool Point for liking to share root beer floats with your daughter, that's kinda cute.

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Olive oil and balsamic vinegar. There's more of that in the videos. These are basic ingredients so I don't really think of them worthy of special mention as a rule, and I'm not sure why so many cheftestants feel a need to do so this year. Okay, if you really, really love to cook with them, maybe, I dunno, but... duh, it's like saying 'salt'.

#3: Dale. Another Dale in Chicago? Hrm... interesting. Also, while sources tell me there are no openly gay men this season, I'm... um... see... my gaydar actually broke when his picture came up, so I'm a little... unconvinced. But, well, I actually do have male friends who are straight who would trip other people's gaydar, so I guess you never know. The fact that his favorite simple spring recipe involves mushrooms that are particularly phallic (a lot of mushrooms are, but matsutake is more so than most) also makes me wonder, though.

Anyhow. Myoga and ponzu on mushrooms might actually be good, and I guess 'earthy' is springy, so not bad. And it does qualify a simple, if a little obscure.

Since he's Filipino, he doesn't get a Buzzword Bio checkmark for mentioning Asian flavors as, well, duh. However, I still have to remove Cool Points for this quote: "I love the balance that Asian cuisine offers the salty, sweet, bitter and sour and the textures it provides for different experiences in every bite." Honey, you could put any word in place of 'Asian' and get the most generic description of why chefs and foodies alike take to particular cuisines.

#4: Erik. Our boy Erik's self-taught. That's not unprecedented, but it is unusual. And he must be doing something right, since he's got a good position... er, a good job, to clarify.

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Spring lamb and spring garlic as his simple recipe. Look, I appreciate there's a reason spring lamb is called that, but really... well, you'll see.

Also, isn't Chilean Sea Bass over as a popular dish?

#5: Jennifer. Gaydar... tingling. And my sources say my gaydar is right. (What 'sources'? Well, teh intarwebs, of course!) So, maybe no gay men, but definitely some lesbians this season. Okay.

Anyhow, that's not really important. What's important is that she's the second chef so far to not understand the word 'simple'. First of all, tongue is never simple. Second of all, sauce Dragoncello? I had to look up what it was, but having found a recipe, I proclaim it also Not Simple.

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Spring lamb tongue. Not "lamb's tongue" or "sheep's tongue", no... spring lamb tongue.

Buzzword Bio Bingo #2: "believes in cooking for the season". Oh, how I already loathe the "seasonal cooking" phrase, and the number of times it will be repeated is just astounding. So let me take a moment to rant about it.

People, saying you want to, try to, always cook seasonally is almost as silly as telling me you like to cook using heat. Of course you do. Even housewives on stingy budgets in lousy locations like to use fresh in-season ingredients when possible. I'm not averse to dried and frozen ingredients (canned I am picky about but for some things they're fine, too) but obviously fresh ones are preferable when time, money, and availability permit.

So stop acting like you're coming up with something new, original, and (pardon the pun) "fresh" when what you're doing is what any decent cook would do. It's ridiculous, and it tells us nothing about you except that you can't think of anything specific to say.

(The rare exception to this are those chefs who reverse the emphasis, e.g., "I love cooking in summer because I love the fresh [corn, peppers, tomatoes, whatever] that are available then.")

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go buy a plane ticket so I can retrieve my eyes, so far have they rolled. [End rant.]

#6: Lisa. Interestingly, Lisa didn't trip my gaydar, though reports suggest she prefers the ladies. Well, I'm not perfect.

Again with the not understanding 'simple'. Okay, you might have a simple rub pre-made, and yes, a reduction sauce is relatively easy when you do them all the time, but... eh. I can't get worked up about it, because, well:

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Lamb? For a spring dish? Say it isn't so! Well, at least it's not phrased as "spring lamb". But, really, if all y'all are so big on "seasonal ingredients", why not mention some nice seasonal veggies, like, I dunno, asparagus or beets. (And, in fairness, I should go back up and give another Cool Point to Andrew for including mangoes and cucumber on his list, since those really are seasonal...)

Buzzword Bio Bingo #2: Oh, look. Asian cuisine. It's even in her heart. Plus "Asian flair", whatever that is.

#7: Manuel. I'm gonna note something interesting about Manuel when we get to his video. In the meantime... one Cool Point for his simple recipe, because crab + vinaigrette is reasonably simple. Though... I'm not sure crabs are very Springy... well, maybe.

And another Cool Point for not mentioning any Buzzword Bio Bingo terms... though I did consider '[classically] French trained' to come close. And one more for having to work with Mario Batali.

Gee, I hope I like you on the show. Your bio is so promising...

#8: Mark. I thought Mark might be gay, but it turns out he's just a kiwi, an entirely different kind of fruit. And another self-taught person.

Another chef that doesn't understand 'simple'... but that's much less important than this: Two words I never want to see together again are "mint" and "edamame". I think the mint would just kill the flavor of the edamame, and also, eww. Two more words I never want to see together again: "espresso" and "hollandaise". WHY?

Interestingly, though he was raised on a sheep farm, he didn't mention "spring lamb". I normally think of venison as an autumn dish, but I suppose in the other hemisphere, that might not be the case, so I'll reserve judgement on that one.

So, one Cool Point for not using any Buzzword Bio Bingo terms. But seriously, dude... "minted edamame"? "Espresso hollandaise"?

(If this were a year or two ago, "espresso randomly thrown into other things" would probably be a Buzzword Bingo thing, but that seems to have died down a bit, so he gets a pass on it for that reason, albeit not for ruining perfectly good hollandaise with espresso. That's me, you might like it, I dunno.)

#9: Nikki. My first thought: Oh, Lord, does that pose make her look bitchy. Anyhow.

Simple spring dish: well, reasonably simple, and reasonably springy: shallots, peas, and mint all qualify for sure, and grape tomatoes, well, I still think of them as summery but they're easily available in spring I suppose. I don't think I would like the dish (peas and I don't get along well and I don't think I'd like them at all with cheese) but it seems reasonable.

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Passionate. She almost escaped, but too many people talking about their passion/heart/soul this year (and, really, every year).

#10: Nimma. Now, Nimma has a simple recipe... in fact, I might venture it's a little too simple, at least for someone competing on this show, but it at least sounds good: fresh fish with "amazing" olive oil and sea salt.

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Olive oil? Well, she mentioned it as an ingredient, so we'll let her off on that one.

However, she goes on to say she "always has salt, pepper, green tea, coffee, and butter on hand", and I think that may actually qualify as a single Buzzword Bingo term (except maybe the green tea), because, you know what? So do I (except maybe the green tea).

#11: Richard. Despite the fauxhawk, my gaydar says "straight". Since he mentions a wife and a forthcoming child, I'm gonna go with that being right.

Simple recipe? Hrm. Lamb meatballs... yeah, okay. BUT:

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Lamb, in spring? Say it isn't so! (I have this incredible feeling of déjà vu here...)

On the plus side, he also mentions rhubarb, which you don't hear very often. One Cool Point for mentioning a lesser-used spring ingredient.

Buzzword Bio Bingo #2: Cooking is an art.

Ya think? I mean, I haven't heard this mentioned more than about, oh 3798932 times in my life.

#12: Ryan. ...hrm. He's straight? Well, okay, I'll take your word for it.

Spring simple recipe... goodness, it's both. Spring pea soup with yogurt and dill cucumbers... actually sounds good, even if I'd avoid it for the pea factor.

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Passion. Why do chefs always need to tell us they have a passion for cooking? Why?

Other than that, nothing else stands out.

#13: Spike. Your name is Spike? Really? Huh. And do you always dress that way? Really? Huh. And those sideburns, are you for real with those? Really? Huh.

Okay. I'm going to call him and praise him on the same thing:

Buzzword Bio Bingo: Lamb? In spring... yadda, yadda.

On the other hand, Greek spool lamb onna spit = 1 Cool Point.

Also, again, in the "not quite a buzzword but close": "training in classic French cuisine". Yeah, yeah.

On the other hand, One Cool Point for opening a restaurant chain with burgers, dogs, fries, and shakes, and mentioning they're your weakness. Way too many chefs are all about denying the junk food, so good on you.

#14: Stephanie. Finally someone else on the Chicago show who lives there! Even if she's from somewhere else originally.

Simple spring recipe: honey, gnocchi is not 'simple'. It's not. On the other hand, aspargus and green garlic is at least Spring.

Amazingly, no BBB, but minus one Cool Point for "has to be 110%", because that phrase was old and boring when dinosaurs roamed the earth (you know, when I was in high school).

#15: Valerie. Ahh, another Chicagoan! Though after watching her video I thought she might be more North Shore than city limits, but I'm not sure.

Simple spring recipe: I'm not sure pot stickers qualifies as either, pork or otherwise. But at least it's not lamb.

Buzzword Bio Bingo she gets a pass on because I'm not including "global/all over the world/etc." in this year's list.

#16: Zoi (Pronounced, it turns out, "Zo-ee", not "Zoy", which is almost disappointing.) And another self-taught person! That's at least 3, more if I missed one, which I don't think I did, but now that I've said that someone will let me know I did, or would, if anyone was reading this.

Simple Spring Recipe: Well... I guess it's sorta simple. But, of course:

Buzzword Bio Bingo: 'Roasted baby California lamb' is close enough to 'spring lamb', and anyhow, it's lamb. Lamb lamb lamb.

Points for 'simple and rustic', but...

Buzzword Bio Bingo #2: local, seasonal ingredients. Again, duh.

Oh, and I almost forgot: Did not trip my gaydar, which in light of recent news is kinda odd.

So that wraps up the written bios. Next time: the video, and more exciting Buzzword Bio Bingo! (Continue reading...)

Cooking and Me

I love to cook. I am not and never will be a gourmet chef, nor an afficiando of upscale dining; I like simpler food. But I am a talented amateur of said simpler food, an opinion not held only by me but by the friends I've cooked for. Heck, I even have a couple signature dishes.

First: my interpretation of beef stroganoff. It's influenced by the Russian dish, though I've fiddled with it over the years and a Russian might think it was odd (mostly in that I've come up with my own seasoning for it). It's very high-calorie, not friendly to people avoiding dairy (or those who can't mix dairy with meat), and it's never failed to produce compliments. I serve it with noodles rather than potatoes, but then, so do most restaurants in this country. (I iz an citizen of teh Untied States.)

Secondly: a dish without a real name, originally taught to me by my mother, though I've again fiddled with it over the years. It involves chicken breast, tomatoes (fresh or canned stewed, depending on the season), onions, and mushrooms cooked with copious amounts of basil plus a little salt and pepper (occasionally paprika, too), served with rice, sometimes with a side veggie or fresh biscuits (that's the American usage there). It's simple. It's extremely easy to make. It's yummy.

Lastly: I make a really good chunky spaghetti sauce (which I learned from my father; there are very few people in my family who can't cook at least reasonably well). I think of this as more of an American thing than an Italian, though I think an Italian could appreciate it: plenty of fresh veggies—mushrooms, green peppers, onions, tomatoes—cooked in a tomato sauce, seasoned with lots of garlic and a mix of oregano and basil. I usually make it meat-free but sometimes I put in browned ground beef or baked Italian sausage. (I also sometimes make something more akin to a marinara sauce, do a decent bolognese, and do a good tomato creme sauce... pasta sauce is so nicely flexible.)

You'll notice that this is all family or comfort food. Okay, you can make the argument that Beef Stroganoff, variant or not, is a bit more upscale, but really at its heart its a nice, filling basic meat-and-carbs dish.

Now, none of this is about TV, which is part of the purported purpose of this blog (say that ten times fast), but never fear, I shall relate it there: Pay special attention to that last paragraph. When I make judgement calls about how food looks or sounds on Top Chef, it's through the filter of those dishes being the type of thing I like to cook and eat.

Incidentally, I am fairly good at imagining how herbs and spices (as well as other ingredients) will combine, being a "learn through experimenting" type. This also will affect my judgement calls, naturally.

If I were a Top Chef contestant, I would tell you my main influences are (Midwest to Southern) American, Italian, Hungarian, Polish, and Russian, with a bit of Asian and Mediterranean. My favorite herbs are basil and rosemary, my favorite spice paprika. My go-to ingredient, as they like to call it, is chicken breast, as it's reasonably low-fat when skinless, very versatile, and can be cooked quickly. (I usually buy them deboned and skinless, though I can actually do it myself fairly quickly.) I love broccoli. I can't stand foie gras. (There's many other things I dislike* but since that one's used a lot on the show I felt it was worth mentioning.) Stylistically, 'rustic' and 'comfort food' probably are both reasonable approximations. 'Hearty' might be another; I hate that "3 beans on a plate with a smear of sauce" thing with a passion.

And if you put me on Top Chef, I'd be out the first week. Not because I'm not any good, but I'm definitely too slow for that sort of environment, and therefore for that of a professional restaurant, too. You'd probably like my food, if you ever got it, but 20 minutes is barely enough time for me to figure out where all the ingredients are, so, uh. No, I have no pretentions of being on the cheftestants' level. But I do understand what goes into cooking, and I'm looking forward to imagining how the dishes taste this year.

[*For the curious: I don't like most seafood, excepting crab and shrimp, and I don't like mollusks. There's other things I dislike, too, but I mention these in particular because a lot of upscale dining dishes use these ingredients, particularly lobster, clams, and oysters. And don't serve me large quantities of (most, I tolerate some) legumes unless you want me to feel queasy, nor bleu cheese or other highly-molded cheeses unless you want to send me to the hospital.]
(Continue reading...)